by Mallory Jones
What is your experience with loss?
Grief takes many forms, and is a process that is unique to person who experiences its power.
I remember the first phone call.
As I listened to my mom tell me that my grandmother had cancer, the emotions had already crept into every part of my body. I was two states away with a few weeks left on a mission trip. Two months later, I was back at school, muscles tight with emotion and concern for her. As my body continued to exhaust itself with these thoughts, my phone screen lit up. My father’s voice said my sweet grandmother had weeks left of her life.
Grief can take you by surprise.
For weeks after this phone call, I experienced a grief deeper than ever before.
Grief lingers. It goes deep into every crevice of our lives. I stepped back from my responsibilities, and my motivation for the things I once loved sunk. My passions became muffled and discolored by the explosion of grief, until it was all I could feel or think about.
But what if there’s more to it?
I had been through this before. Whether it was unexpected news or a long process of pain, I had crawled through painful emotions and anxious thoughts before. This time, though, I trusted in God. I trusted His promises remained true. Even in the times when I didn’t feel His presence at all. I knew Him and He knew me.
Often, with trials such as grief, we see it as something that separates us from God and His love. There will be times when we don’t understand our circumstances. There will be times when we don’t even know what is happening in our own minds.
Following Jesus takes lots of grace, prayer, love, and faith. We will continue to mess up along the way. Grief is an opportunity to find rest in God and experience His honesty and truth with bravery.
“In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” Psalm 5:3
We are not alone. God is not absent in the midst of our sorrow and grief, even though our grief may call that into question sometimes. Jesus is right there.
That’s who God is. He is sovereign and good. He is loving. He does not abandon us in our darkest moments. Let’s hold onto this beautiful truth as we seek Him in our sufferings.
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18
Mallory is a third-year student at the University of Wisconsin Steven’s Point studying English and Creative Writing. When she isn’t writing or practicing Japanese, she dreams of climbing North Dakota buttes.