DISCIPLESHIP
Lesson 2: Who should you be helping?
In the last lesson you learned to define discipleship as a growth relationship between two individuals seeking to know Jesus more. You also learned the foundational components to prepare your heart for discipleship: a relationship with Jesus, direction from the Holy Spirit and a desire to lead and know your disciple.
To be a disciple, you need to be willing to help others grow. That’s called making disciples.
To make disciples, you don’t have to be Obi Wan Kenobi, or whichever wise mentor figure comes to mind. If that were the case, few of us would ever feel qualified.
The qualifications are simple, but not easy:
- Are you committed to beingfaithfulto God and His people?
- Are you making yourself available to God and His people?
- Are you willing to be teachable?
PHASE 1: Which of these statements best describes you?
- I feel ready to help someone grow, I just don’t know who yet.
- I know who I want to help grow, but I don’t think I’m the right person.
- I know who I want to help grow, but I don’t know where to start.
PHASE 2: Which one of these statements best describes you?
- I feel ready to help someone grow, I just don’t know who yet.
- I know who I want to help grow, but I don’t think I’m the right person.
- I know who I want to help grow, but I don’t know where to start.
You can’t help everyone grow, and not everyone is ready or wants that help. Jesus carefully chose those he discipled during his time on earth, and so should we.
You might feel uncomfortable with the idea of selecting someone. Maybe you feel like you’re grading that person in some way.
You’re not.
You’re following Jesus’ example in thinking carefully about whom God is saying you could help grow. You are using the time He has given you wisely.
How do you decide if the person you’re thinking of will be a good fit?
To answer that question, we’re going to think about a basic process:
1. You should only help people of the same gender.
If someone of the opposite gender asks you for help growing in faith, the best thing you can do is help that person find someone of his or her own gender to walk alongside.
2. Get to know someone before you commit to a discipleship relationship.
- Does the potential disciple demonstrate a hunger to grow in faith?
- Is he or she reading the Bible?
- Is he or she asking you questions about your relationship with God?
- Does he or she acknowledge a need to grow in specific areas of character?
- Does he or she express a desire to serve God by helping others know Him?
3. Cast a vision for God’s call to biblical discipleship.
Sit down with the person you’ve observed and say something like this: “I believe Jesus wants me to support you as you grow in your friendship with Him. We can decide what that looks like together, but I think we need to share what’s going on in our lives, learn about living in the power of the Holy Spirit and be available to tell others how they can have a relationship with God. What do you think?”
4. Be clear about the mutual commitment you’re making.
You’re investing your time and energy in his or her walk with God. So it’s right to ask this person for a commitment too.
Try working through the following questions on your own. Then do it with your potential disciple in order to make a list:
- How often will you meet?
- How available will you be to each other outside your meeting times? (How do you prefer to communicate?)
- What do you want to hold each other accountable for?
- How will you ensure you’re sharing your faith regularly?
PHASE 2: Share your list with us so we can learn from you.
Ask the potential disciple what help he or she needs to grow. Be prepared to listen and ask follow-up questions. Take this time to make sure you’re both on the same page.
In Luke 14:25-35, Jesus encourages believers to count the cost before committing to follow Him. This is what you both need to do, too, before giving your time and vulnerability to one another.
5. Ask the potential disciple to prayerfully make a decision.
Be careful that the person you’re asking isn’t saying yes to be polite or simply giving into pressure. You’ve communicated how serious the commitment is. Now, free the potential disciple from any obligation to agree by giving him or her time to think and pray. Ask for a decision by an agreed upon date.
You’re not determining whether this person is worth helping. You’re deciding if the two of you make a good fit at this point in time.
Take a Step
Talk to the person you want to help grow and ask what help he or she needs to grow in faith. Listen carefully and ask follow-up questions. You might want to take time to think about your conversation afterward and write down the most important insights, then meet again to share your answers to the questions in point 4 above.
What's Next:
You have now committed to a discipleship relationship with someone. Now you need to be clear about how Christians are designed to grow so you know where you’re going. Lesson 3 will outline how we have been taught to grow in our personal relationships with Jesus and how to help others grow as well.
