Students from the University of Idaho and Lewis and Clark State College participate in a community building activity on their Cru fall retreat. Between UI and LCSC, 41 students came and grew closer to God and each other as they processed through the messages.
It began with a knock on Jill’s door.
The University of Idaho student didn’t have Jill’s number, he explained. But he needed her help.
“Molly” had been dating one of his friends. When they broke up, she’d come to him for someone to talk to.
“She needs to talk to someone who is … a little older,” he said. “And a female.”
___
Classes at UI weren’t going to start for a few more days. With her youngest child in preschool this year, Jill was looking forward to being back on campus for three mornings each week. She loved being a mom, but she’d missed the joy of meeting with students and watching them grow in their faith.
But there was also a bit of anxiety. She’d been a full-time mom for so long – could she still do it?
She met Molly in Starbucks.
As Molly began to share her story, Jill realized this young woman had needed someone to listen for a long time.
She told about being adopted – but raised with the subtle message that her family had done her a favor, and so she was obligated to be a good daughter in return.
In church, she saw God as the same.
Be good. Earn good grades. Get involved with as many clubs as possible, and be the best member. Earn your own way.
Approval was to be earned from family, from friends, and from God.
But it was never enough. She could feel the weight of her own failings on every side, and she felt so worthless.
She tried to tell herself that if she learned from her failings – from her sins – they wouldn’t matter.
Finally, Jill was able to respond.
“There is hope,” she said. “There is an answer to this.”
Jill reached into her bag.
“I have this little booklet,” she said. “I really like it because it explains the gospel really well. Would you like to read through it?”
Molly’s face brightened.
“Yes,” she exclaimed. “If you have an answer, I want to hear it right now.”
As they read through the “Would You Like to Know God Personally?” booklet together, the simple narrative of God’s love and man’s separation began to grip Molly’s heart. Jill explained that sin was a big deal, and it couldn’t just be annulled if we learn our lesson. Slowly, the weight Molly had carried for so long – feeling like she didn’t have any right to carry it at all – began to slide away.
“I thought so,” she said. “I thought there was as a reason I was feeling this way.”
“Your sin is a big deal,” Jill said. “That’s why Jesus died on the cross – to give you life and freedom.”
Tears began to fill Molly’s eyes as Jill continued to talk.
“You’re free to ask for forgiveness,” Jill said. “You’re free to acknowledge your sin and to be in relationship with the one who created you.”
Jill asked if she wanted to take time and think about it – they’d talked about so much. But Molly wanted to pray right there. Using the prayer at the end of the booklet as a template, her prayer was personal and from her heart.
“I’m tired of trying to be a good person on my own,” Molly prayed. “I want you to make me the person you want me to be. I surrender my life.”
___
Through her time with Molly, and into the weeks following, as they continue to meet and study the Bible, Jill felt God’s Spirit speaking to her own heart as well – reminding her of why she loved this work so much.
“It’s not about you,” He was saying. “I’m working, and I’m going to use you.”
“I got to witness the Lord really moving,” Jill said. “I knew it was as much for me as it was for Molly. I left thinking ‘okay God, you are going to show up – and you are going to work through me.’”
