Ever since I became a mother, it had always been my desire to be a stay-home mom to take care of my children fully, especially in the first six years of their life. However, in view of my family’s future financial need, I started to pursue a degree course in Mathematics when my first child turned 5 years old. Consequently, I realised that I could not attend to my children as fully as I used to before.
Hence, I constantly struggled in great dilemma – when I spent time with my kids, I felt that I had neglected my study; but when I gave more focus to my study, I felt really guilty that I was not present with them. My heart was perpetually filled with unsettledness as I was not able to complete my daily tasks.
The thoughts of giving up my study always came to me, yet the unwillingness of letting my years of study go to waste had repeatedly caused me to hold back my decision. Holding on to the assurance that the Lord had clearly opened the way for me to pursue this degree, I pressed on despite all difficulties. Little did I know at that point that the Lord had His special purpose for my life when He led me to this course.
I have three nephews whom I had been wanting to reach out to. To my disappointment, it had become harder and harder for me to do so over the years because of various reasons. Yet, surprisingly, God began to bring opportunities for me to tutor them in Mathematics. These connections had not only grown my relationships with them, but had also caused me to realise more deeply of the love of God to each one of them.
Last year, one of these nephews exhibited some problematic behaviours which brought many helpless situations to his family. I sensed that the Lord wanted me to help this boy. With the agreement and support from my husband and children, I took the courage and risk to invite him to stay with my family for a period of time. In the course of his stay, it was not an easy experience for me whenever he broke my family rules and was not in good behaviour.
However, after some time, I began to discover an aspect in him that touched my heart deeply – his brotherly love towards my own children. I realised how the love of God could even penetrate through his heart, which enabled him to show his kindness towards my kids and me. Although it was a great struggle for me to complete my four-year degree course during my early motherhood years, I saw how God used my knowledge in Mathematics to reach out to other children.
Moreover, God had also deepened my love for children through His love for them. I am a vessel for His use, and in the process of offering myself for His use, I came to learn about and was touched by His love for His people.
Since I successfully graduated from my degree course, I have worked in different schools to teach students Mathematics. I used to have problems showing kindness and patience towards a particular group of secondary students. I found myself rather critical towards their misbehavior.
However, God used my experiences with my nephews to change my heart and enlarge my love to embrace these students.
Whenever I was in their class, even though they still behaved in the same way, I could sense the peace of God in me. What has changed, I believe, was my perspective towards them.
- Story of Trisha, a mom of 2
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