Friendship - Blog

You Can’t Do It Alone: Change Is Easier When You Have Help

Faith Eng


“No, thank you. I can do it all by myself.”

I’ve read this line to my little guy dozens of times over the past few months as I’ve put him to bed.

The book we’re reading teaches children to let others help them. It says not to insist on doing tasks too advanced or carry things too heavy. As the book’s main character learns, you have to learn to accept help.

Part of growing up is becoming self-sufficient, but we never outgrow needing people to help us. As grown-ups, we don’t get any better at internalizing this lesson. But we do get better at hiding that we need help.

Inviting others into your life can motivate you to make changes that are hard to make on your own. Support from others can give you the courage to take steps toward change, whether opening up to friends, joining a support group, going to a counselor or hiring a personal trainer.

This is especially true for the things in your life you are most ashamed of.

It seems counterintuitive that sharing about the difficult things you struggle with would be the first step toward change. But having the support of others, whether friends or professionals, can help you overcome the shame and fear that hold you back.

You weren’t meant to walk through life or struggles alone. You were created to be in healthy relationships with others. Sharing your deepest pain and shame and being met with care and support is life-changing.

Do you have a support structure in your life? If not, where could you meet people who would be supportive and encouraging? Would you benefit from going to a counselor or a professional who specializes in the parts of life you want to change?

Don’t struggle on your own. Don’t wonder if you will figure out how to make your life better. Doing everything by yourself will leave you feeling defeated and weighed down by shame. Inviting others in could be the first step to positive change.

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