It is the lone sheep who gets grabbed by the wolf. But if you stay in the pack, you will find safety. How does this turn into a dating mistake? Often when women begin dating someone they like, they drop out of life — in terms of their community and friends who ground them. So they gradually lose their greatest source of protection, feedback and strength. As a result, they can find themselves deeper in a not-so-great situation than they would want to be and can find themselves unable to get out.
Stay connected to your friends throughout your dating experience. Talk to them about your dates and let them evaluate your dates for you. Get their feedback on how a guy treats you or what his issues are. Listen to them, for they might see things your smitten eyes have missed. Use their support to be able to deal with those things. I wish I had a nickel for every woman I have heard say, “I wish I had listened to my friends.” Your friends are your best protection. You might hear them say, “What are you thinking!” If they do, then listen.
Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist and best-selling author or co-author of over eighteen books, including “How to Get a Date Worth Keeping” and “Boundaries in Dating.” He also conducts seminars across the country and co-hosts a radio program called “New Life Live.” He’s the president of Cloud-Townsend Resources.
© 2005 Betty Blake Churchill. All rights reserved. Adapted with permission from “Fantasy - An Insatiable Desire for a Satisfying Love” (Orlando, CruPress).
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