Tony Wee’s Story: A Journey of Finding Identity

I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere.

I grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio, as an Asian American, and there were not a lot of people that looked like me. And I found myself struggling with: Who is this person that God made? 

My parents are Chinese immigrants from the Philippines. And I grew up in a space where no one looked like me and oftentimes would ask me if I knew kung fu, if I knew Bruce Lee.

Because whether it was I was shorter than everybody else, or I grew up in Ohio, or I was a Chinese American, or any of these things, as I grew, I struggled. And I struggled with my identity. And I struggled with: What did it mean to have friendships that knew me and understood me? And I would oftentimes retreat into my own mind.

Well, when I was in high school […] my brother, he would come home from college. And he shared this booklet called The Four Spiritual Laws with me, and he asked me for forgiveness.

And I didn't really know what to do with that ’cause I always looked up to him. And I just said, “What do you … what do I need to forgive you for?”

And he’s, like, “No, I just need you to forgive me.” And I said, “Okay.” 

And it occurred to me that if my brother needed to ask for forgiveness, I’ve never really thought of that for myself. And it was at that moment that, I feel, the Holy Spirit just put on [my] heart for me to say, “Yeah, if You forgive me, I’m never gonna leave You.”

And at that moment, when I did give myself over in that space, it was as if all of my anxiety about my friendships, about my identity … there was this secure factor that Jesus would be my best friend and He would never leave me. And I think that’s when I really realized I could dedicate my life to Christ at that point.

When our identity is founded under Christ, it’s not that my Asian-ness didn’t matter, my maleness didn't matter, my age or my generation didn’t matter. It all mattered and it was all  supposed to be surrendered to Jesus. And that changed everything. It’s that God valued me as a Chinese American. God valued me as a male with an identity crisis.

He valued me as someone who grew up in the Midwest, living among people who I didn't always relate to. And I think that was really crystallizing to not be — the word I would use is — reductionistic with the gospel, because all of it matters to God. I have to remember so much that we are first and foremost image-bearers of God.

Psalm 139, when you look at that passage, the most important part of that psalm is that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, right? And sometimes it’s so easy to forget that when you feel like you don’t belong. But every part of us, every hair on our head, every part of you, your culture, your ethnicity, your gender, every part of who makes you, you … It’s not all perfect, but when we surrender it all to Jesus, then we can see how beautiful you truly can be.

And I truly believe that when we embrace every part of who we are, surrender to Jesus, that’s when, that’s when the work can get started. That’s when we can work in the good works that He’s prepared for us, when we embrace ourselves in the power of His Holy Spirit to do that type of work. 

So, wherever you come from, know that you are unbelievably valuable, that all of our identity encompasses who we are, and all of you matters to Him.