My first panic attack happened in college. I was struggling with self-worth and felt like my world was crumbling. I was never good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough.
No matter how hard I tried, I was never enough. I was broken. I felt that the bad things happening in my life were my fault. In that guilt, I lost my sense of value.
Those feelings clung to me and began to influence my daily life. I believed that how I felt was reality. But they were just feelings — not the truth.
The truth is I am highly valued. God has not forgotten me, and He never will.
Jesus talks about how much God values us: “What is the price of five sparrows — two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows” (Luke 12:6-7, New Living Translation).
Sometimes I feel utterly worthless, but Jesus made it clear that’s not true. God created people and loves us with a love that we can’t even comprehend. We have worth because God, the most powerful being in the universe, says we are valuable to Him.
Not only does God consider us valuable, but He has called us to be His precious children — and He calls Himself our Father. First John 3:1 (NLT) says, “See how very much our Father loves us, for He calls us his children, and that is what we are!” The love of a parent for his or her child is perhaps the deepest love a person experiences here on earth, but the love of God for His children is infinitely greater than even that love.
Even though I know intellectually that God loves me, values me and calls me His child, I have trouble truly accepting it on a heart level. I find it difficult to really believe that I am valuable and that my feelings of doubt, guilt and worthlessness are not true.
We are all broken in one way or another. But whatever your struggles, God has written your story.
You were fearfully and wonderfully made. There is pain, but even the pain caused by broken families, unmet expectations, sickness, injustice or trauma can be redeemed.
When Jesus came to earth, He chose to live among us, to feel pain, to experience sadness and grief, and to die.
But Jesus defeated death. On the cross, He proclaimed, “It is finished.” He paid the cost for the brokenness in this world so we can have eternal life. As God’s beloved child, you are more than enough.
I still struggle with anxiety and self-worth. I struggle to find my place in a crowded room and my voice in a conversation. Even so, I know God is redeeming my story and using my words and experiences. He can do the same for you.
Read more about your value and purpose in “How Do You Measure Your Value?” and “What’s My Purpose in Life?”
Visit one of Cru’s resource pages, “Resources for the Struggles of Life” or “Mental Health Resources”.
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