My Story: How My Life Changed

The Day I Planned to Die

Jeff Cox with Rich Atkinson


I decided I would kill myself by driving my car into a big power pole in front of my high school.

I felt alone — like no one really cared about me and no one would ever accept me for who I was. I was struggling with extreme depression, and suicide seemed like my best option.

As I drove to the place where I would end it all, I heard a voice in my head. It told me not to end my life, and it was powerful. I decided not to commit suicide.

I didn’t know who or what the voice was, but a couple days later I found out.

Someone invited me to an event about love, dating and relationships. What started as a fun evening turned into something that would change my life.

We heard from a speaker who talked about unconditional love, and I wondered how I could experience it. He said that God was offering His unconditional love and wanted a personal relationship with each of us.

People are separated from God because of what we do wrong. But there’s good news: Jesus paid the price for our wrongdoings. Because of what Jesus did, we can have a relationship with God and experience His unconditional love.

Unconditional love — a love you can’t earn and that loves no matter what — is what I had been looking for.

That night, I prayed a simple prayer: “God be in my life, forgive me of my sins and help me to have this life that you promised.”

It was God who saved my life the day I had planned to end it. He spoke to me and told me not to go through with it. Now, instead of a desire to die, I have a reason to live. I went from despair to hope, and you can too.

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts call the confidential, 24/7 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK).

Do you want to experience unconditional love and begin a personal relationship with Jesus?

Read about finding hope in depression.

Read more stories of hope and find resources on our suicide prevention resources page.

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