Photos by Guy Gerrard
Feelings of loneliness come in seasons. The book of Ecclesiastes shows there is a time and season for everything, including a time to cry and a time to laugh (Ecclesiastes 3:1,4). At different points in life, the pain of loneliness can feel small or overwhelming, like an all-consuming emptiness.
I’ve experienced loneliness at varying times. I remember when I felt like I didn’t quite fit into a friend group in high school. Then in my 20s, I felt lonely at times after moving as a single woman.
In a world full of challenges and disappointments, it’s still possible for your life to be filled with God’s presence. Jesus offers hope for you when you experience loneliness.
Through remaining in Christ and by taking steps toward relationships, you can live in that hope, remembering that loneliness will not last forever.
In the story of my life, even if I fit in perfectly in school or later on had a close community and a marriage, I could still feel alone at times. But these moments don’t last forever. So if you feel stuck in isolation, remember it’s temporary.
There is hope if you can look ahead to the future. In heaven, you will feel completely fulfilled in the presence of God. If you have received Jesus’ gift of salvation, one day you will know Him fully and experience the closest of relationships.
As you set your sights on eternity, you can cling to the promises of God in the Bible. In the Old Testament, prophets gave pictures of what the future would be like. Let this verse assure your heart and mind of what’s to come:
“I (God) will make my home among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people” (Ezekiel 37:27, New Living Translation).
You can know God more through your loneliness as you seek him in your daily life. John chapter 15 offers a metaphor of Jesus as a vine and his people as branches. That means you’re connected to Him. You can live in a close relationship with Jesus, experiencing His friendship and love when you’re not receiving that from people around you.
Jesus said, “You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:14-15, NIV).
A good question to consider is, “How do you best connect with God?” In nature? Through reading? Listening? Prayer journaling? Consider how you most easily relate to God.
Plan a time in your day to spend time with God in a way that you enjoy. It doesn’t need to happen in the morning. It could be at night or in the middle of the day. Talk to Him in a place that’s comfortable to you. When you connect with God, He brings peace.
Connecting with others in a community is important as well. Webster’s Dictionary defines community as “a unified body of individuals.” Believers in Jesus have community in their common faith. The church of Jesus is like a body, and it only works well when all the parts are functioning properly (1 Corinthians 12:27).
It’s essential to have each limb and muscle in a body. So in the same way, God created people to connect with each other and live alongside one another.
You’re not meant to be alone.
When you’re feeling lonely, take action by texting or calling someone. Or ask someone for prayer at church. Even if you don’t have a strong connection to the person, if they believe in Jesus, you have something in common.
The people around you can be beacons of light, displaying God’s goodness.
Lastly, you can do the same for others. When you feel alone, serving someone else can change your perspective. Seeking ways to help the people in your life allows you to shift your focus outward. You can give someone a gift or write a note with kind words, or ask how you can pray for a family member. Look for ways to be the love of Jesus to someone else. It’s likely that you’ll experience friendship in the process.
If you’re currently going through a season of loneliness, God still desires to know you. You can experience His love through future hope, current nearness to Jesus and the care of other people.
For further reading, check out these resources:
How to Make Friends in College
Loneliness and Marriage
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