Mentoring - Blog

Why New Graduates Need to Risk Relationship

Amanda Stephens with David Robbins


The first few years of life on your own can come with a mix of emotions and experiences.

There’s an exhilaration that comes from freedom and finding your place in the world. This freedom brings new opportunities that can reveal more about you. 

But it can expose doubts in things you never thought to question before. It can also expose gaps in your character that lie beneath the surface and that you never thought would work their way out.

The State of Brokenness

These gaps are the places where your life and your core values don’t line up. Living a life divided from our core values will look different for each of us. You may...

  • harbor secrets to achieve personal gain at the expense of others.

  • remain in settings or relationships that steadily kill off your spirit.

  • hide your beliefs from those who disagree with you to avoid conflict, challenge and change.

  • conceal your true identity for fear of being criticized, shunned or attacked.

  • work at a job that violates your basic values.

In these situations, inauthenticity and assumptions drive out real relationships. It’s risky business to expose the parts of ourselves that we would choose to avoid and that make us vulnerable. 

The Value of Relationships

But we all need other people in our lives, and we all experience different levels of relationship. It’s possible to live a divided life without anybody that you’re in relationship with knowing.  

We need trustworthy relationships and tenacious communities of support that will steer us toward wholeness. Safe relationships — relationships of care, understanding, security and acceptance — offer the opportunity to move away from inauthenticity.

There’s value in taking the risk to dig below the surface. Consider the following.

  • You cannot make your journey toward authenticity on your own. A network of support gives courage during those times when you become weary or fearful and are tempted to quit.
     

  • You were not meant to travel this road without company. A trusted friend can offer discernment and insight that you might otherwise miss.

What if we didn’t retreat from these kinds of relationships but allowed them to refine us? What if they helped us to express something authentic that the world could not ignore? 

Perhaps they would create undivided lives — make us willing to face the hard truths of ourselves through the power of God’s Spirit. Though the journey is difficult, God promises to faithfully lead us to experiencing wholeness rooted in Jesus.

The Offer of Hope and Community

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