Christa Gould
Sweet. Nice. Smart. Musical.
That’s how others defined me, so it’s how I decided to define myself. Having other people see me as successful felt like the most important thing I could achieve.
I graduated tenth in my class, was first chair in the band’s oboe section and was headed to a bright future. But every success ended. Each was temporary, and once it was over I had to ask, “Now what?”
I had to keep performing.
But failures always seemed to outweigh successes. I needed some kind of lasting joy in my life.
When I went to college, some women from Cru approached me about joining a Bible study.
I had heard the words "gospel" and "good news," but I didn't know what they meant. Instead, I pretended I knew and that I had been a Christian for years.
In the spring, my Bible study leaders asked, “Do you know what the gospel is?” I pretended I knew, but they saw through that. They shared The Four Spiritual Laws booklet with me.
A lot of people say God should let you into heaven if you’re a good person. That spring was the first time I learned that, contrary to how the world works, God doesn't look at me for what I do and what I accomplish. All people are sinful.
Ultimately we all fail. No matter how good I am, I have made mistakes. There is a lot deep within me that is not right or good. It doesn't matter whether I am perfectly behaved. What matters is that I have the forgiveness and grace of Christ.
I put my faith in Him while sitting in my dorm room.
God loves me despite my imperfections.
