by Lori Arnold — 29 August 2022
Melanie Lamar might as well have been a dentist, since trying to get and keep the girls' focus on Jesus was like pulling teeth. Sometimes it was just as painful. Melanie had such high hopes when 7-year-old twins, Tamara and Tali, returned to the S.A.Y. Yes!® center after dropping out of the program last summer, a common occurrence during the pandemic.
For months, she feared the twins were gone for good, despite center staff reaching out to the family each week. During their short involvement in the after-school youth development center — a joint project between Cru® Inner City and Payne Free Church in St. Paul, Minnesota — Melanie grew attached to the sisters. Though they had a difficult time going deep when it came to their Bible lessons, they were both engaged, particularly Tamara who often cozied up to Melanie.
"Their answer to almost every question I asked was 'uh, God?,' 'Jesus?!' or 'Elsa!,' a favorite "Frozen" character," Melanie said. "While sweet and mostly good guesses, it seemed like not much was clicking."
The S.A.Y Yes! staff's investment of time and attention paid off last December when the twins returned. Melanie was eager to pick up where they left off but engaging Tamara and Tali seemed difficult, unlike before.
"This is so weird," Tamara ranted during a lesson. "I don't want to do this. I don't want to talk about God!"
Melanie was heartsick. Ever since she was young, her mother operated a day-care center, nurturing her passion for little ones.
"I've always loved kids," she said, adding that during her senior year in college she became acutely aware of how many opportunities she had growing up and "being very burdened for kids with hard upbringings."
After initially building a strong bond with Tamara, the young one's rejection of God stung.
"She didn't want any part of it," the instructor said. "I was so bummed because she used to be one of the girls that would sit on my lap and look at the pages as I flipped through the Bible lessons."
But now, the pair made fun of the stories and Bible songs.
The Spirit at Work
Every week, Melanie struggled to make the messages stick. In the meantime, she worked on relationship building by recounting her adventures, including the morning she slipped on the ice while walking with a cup of steaming coffee.
"One leg flew up in the air as I started to fall backward," she told Tamara and Tali. "My coffee nearly spilled all over me when I somehow regained balance."
She described it as "almost movielike."
"Maybe Jesus heard that you didn't want to fall and helped you," Tamara offered nonchalantly.
"I was so amazed at how she heard that story and her first thought was Jesus! I didn't even think about it in that story. She was encouraging me in my faith in that moment."
It was the first of many moments in which Melanie began to see ripening fruit. References to Elsa started to fade.
"How does God know my name if I have not told Him it?" she wondered aloud.
During another discussion, Tamara glanced at Melanie from across the table and randomly declared, "Maybe — even when Jesus was in the tomb — He could still help people."
"I just looked at her," Melanie said. "Where did this come from? We weren't talking about Jesus at all and she just started to talk about how He helps us. I thought it was just so cool to see."
Even the more reserved Tali has become increasingly inquisitive, repeatedly saying, "I want Jesus to be my friend forever."
"It's encouraging because I think she's getting more than we can fully know that she's getting," she said.
Creating a Safe Haven
Their fragile understanding of Jesus has been strengthened through the holistic approach used by 46 S.A.Y. Yes! Centers for Youth Development®, operating nationwide through Cru's partner ministries. The centers, most operating at inner-city churches, use staff and volunteer teams to assist students with homework and tutoring while also mentoring them in vital life skills, all to develop the mind, body, soul and spirit of each child. Many of the children become leaders in their own right.
| “It all boils down, she said, to having stable adults who love the Lord being a consistent influence in young lives.” |
"In the past few months there has been an incredible change," Melanie said of both girls. "To my amazement, they started to recall stories, ask bigger questions, and beautifully think about Jesus' hand in everyday situations." |
The sisters have also become more interactive during prayer time, asking God for various provisions, including helping them to find an apartment in a safer neighborhood.
"God provided that," Melanie said. "I'm wondering if she's recognizing (that) God provided. I think she's seeing that and starting to apply it in other places, too."
Melanie believes some of the growth is the result of the time her co-leader has spent meeting with the twin's mother.
"The mom eventually started doing devotional times with her kids and praying with her kids," Melanie said. "It could be a sign that their mom is praying and sharing with them."
It all boils down, she said, to having stable adults who love the Lord being a consistent influence in young lives. References to Elsa and "Frozen" have faded.
"We're showing them that we love them because God loves them and (we're) getting to know them," she said. "It has a huge impact on kids and building that trust.
"I'm just amazed by the growth that God has done in their life. It's just so exciting for me."
Lori Arnold serves as senior writer for Cru's inner-city ministry.