Growth

Real growth happens in our lives as we embrace the inexhaustibly abundant grace of Jesus and the hard-to-admit truth that we all have destructive sin in our lives. Both truths exist at the same time. Jesus was “full of grace and truth”: 100% grace, 100% truth. And the best thing for us is to strive – in the power of the Holy Spirit – to do the same in our own lives, and in the lives of those in our community.

OBJECTIVE

Begin to grasp the importance of “high-grace/high-truth” communities and a leader’s role in empowering it to take place. Over the course of this lesson, you will…

• Make observations about your comfort level with grace and truth.
• Read about the 4 developmental tasks and choose one for deeper reflection.
• Talk with your process partner about your personal discoveries from the assignment.
• Initiate a grace and truth conversation with someone you trust in your community.

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

JOHN 1:14 (NIV)

UNDERSTAND

Jesus came full of grace and truth (John 1:14-17). In his book, Changes that Heal, Henry Cloud describes the environment most conducive for growth as a community that experiences grace and truth over time.

Henry Cloud writes:

“Grace is the unmerited favor of God toward His people. Grace is unconditional love and acceptance. Grace is something we have not earned and do not deserve.” Grace is about acceptance in a relationship where one person can say to another: “I will accept you! You can be honest with me about your weaknesses and sin, because we are both objects of grace. Righteousness comes from Jesus alone. I have no right to judge you…You are safe.”

Cloud also says,

“Truth is what is real. It describes how things really are.”

In other words, truth allows for people who are in community with each other to lovingly engage with another.

Grace & Truth Community

In a healthy community, phrases like this nurture growth:

• “I’m observing this specific sinful pattern in you. I’m bringing this up because I love you.”
• “This choice doesn’t make sense in light of who you are as a child of God.”
• “God has made you for more.”
• “I know this specific sin pattern feels more like freedom, but freedom in Christ means being set free to live life as God designed it.

How do you feel about these statements?

People are transformed by the truth—by what is real, combined with grace. Remember the woman caught in adultery? (John 8:2-11) After all was said and done, what did Jesus do? He said, “Then neither do I condemn you.” (grace)

“Go now and leave your life of sin.” (truth) The combination of grace and truth allows for people in communities to say to one another: “I am fully for you. Because of that, can I be honest with you about something I am observing about you?”

In a healthy community, you will see this played out by:

• Conflict not being avoided, but resolved.
• Sin not excused or weaponized, but graciously brought to the surface.
• Trust, safety, love, compassion. What would a high-grace, high-truth environment look like in your life? Do you think that your primary communities are full of high grace and high truth? Why or why not? Do you think people know how to have grace and truth conversations? Do you think communities among your generation are higher in grace or higher in truth? Why?

PRACTICE

All leaders are in a growth process that requires intentionality. In addition, internal barriers inevitably surface in ways that are destructive to others and ourselves; we must address these barriers in order to be effective leaders. The following two assignments will provide opportunities for the experience of high grace and high truth.

Read: The Growth Model (to find this, search “Cru Four Developmental Tasks”). In his book, Changes that Heal, Henry Cloud develops four concepts that he refers to as “developmental tasks.” These four tasks are processed, either intentionally or unintentionally, by people in their twenties on the road to healthy adulthood. Attention to these tasks in the context of communities that are high grace and high truth will help young leaders set a trajectory of emotional health and ability to have an impact for the rest of their lives.

There are several questions listed with each task. They are there, in part, to help you gain a deeper understanding of the implications of development regarding that specific growth area.

Reflect, journal, and be prepared to share with your process partner answers to at least 3 questions from the category that resonates deeply with you.

Process with Yourself:

The person we have the most conversations with in a given day is ourselves. We all tend toward grace or truth in how we think of ourselves. Look back to what you learned about yourself in the “Your Design” module. As you think about your personality, your strengths, and how God has made you, have a conversation with yourself that is both full of grace and full of truth.

• Do you tend toward too much truth or too much grace with yourself?
• As you think about your personality, strengths, and weaknesses, what is the internal dialogue you have with yourself? How do you feel about yourself?
• How might your strengths, when overused, turn into weaknesses?

PROCESS

Meeting with your process partner this month is a fantastic opportunity to engage in high-grace and high-truth conversation.

First, share what surfaced as a main developmental task at this stage in your life. Share honestly about what is necessary about this area and what keeps you from pursuing growth in it. Invite feedback and receive grace as you discuss.

Next, discuss who in your community God might be calling you to initiate a high grace/ high truth conversation with. What may hold you back from initiating with them? How do you think they might respond?

ACT

“Grace is the unmerited favor of God toward His people. Grace is unconditional love and acceptance. Grace is something we have not earned

and do not deserve.” HENRY CLOUD

Read the following article about creating healthy boundaries.

Think of a situation where you are having a hard time drawing boundaries.

Review and reflect on the Four Developmental Tasks. Identify which
come easiest to you and which are more challenging. Choose one developmental task to focus on for growth. What might be a helpful way to grow in that task?

Pray

Before you meet up with your group again, be sure to spend some time in prayer. Ask God to help you become a leader who, like Jesus, is full of grace and truth. Pray that grace and truth would define your leadership and that it would resonate and impact those around you.

“Grace is the unmerited favor of God toward His people. Grace is unconditional love and acceptance. Grace is something we have not earned and do not deserve.”

HENRY CLOUD