5 Tips for Adults Working with Teens

If you are an adult wanting to help students grow, thank you. There has never been a more important time for adults to step into the lives of teenagers to walk with them, guide them, and help them process the things going on in their lives. Research says that most teenagers do not believe someone cares for them or believes in them. Students need adults to come alongside them, care for them, and listen to them.

Even so, relationships between students and adults can be tricky to navigate in today’s culture. So we have come up with five tips to help you, as an adult, have great conversations and relationships with teenagers to help them win in life.

1

Be Humble

Many adults are smarter and wiser than most teens. And they make it clear in the way they communicate. If the student feels like they are on the wrong end of a ‘one-up-one-down’ conversation, they may not want to listen or understand what you are saying. As an adult talking to a minor, examine your words and actions to make sure you are not relating to teens as if you are smarter and wiser. Most teenagers do not enter into a conversation with an adult because they are looking for an expert on life. In fact, your ability to listen and ask good questions will help better understand the person you are talking to, which will lead to a win-win conversation.

2
Connect in a Safe Space

You might be asking, what do we mean by safe space? Here is an example to help answer this question. Picture yourself at a retreat and after one of the main meetings you asked one of the teens from your group if they would be ok telling you their story. They said sure, but wanted to share it away from the crowd of people. You suggest moving to the lobby area where there are some couches. When you move to the lobby area the teen opts for a couch that is kind of around the corner and kind of under a flight of stairs. At this point, some warning lights should start to go off in your brain. While this seems like a good spot for a private conversation, this is not a safe space for an adult and a minor to meet.

Our world is broken in many ways and the trust that our society used to give adults has been betrayed many times. Knowing this, we will choose a safe space so students and adults can see that we are trustworthy. There are many adults who can be trusted and your commitment to connect in a safe space will prove to others that you can be trusted also.

Here are some good guidelines to determine what is a safe space. First, ask, “Is this a public space?” and “Are you visible to others?” If you are in a public space, but the only way to see you is to walk into the same area you are, like the space under a staircase or a secluded set of chairs in a library, then it is not a safe space. Second, be sure another trusted adult knows where you are meeting and has the freedom to ask you how it went after the meeting. It would be especially good if that other trusted adult and other students could actually see you. Public spaces where others can see are always better than private, out-of-the-way locations.

3
See Yourself as Part of a Team

As you get to know a teen, you will learn about some of the other adults who care for them. We hope and pray there are many adults in a teen’s life who care for them, beginning with their parents. We believe that God has His eyes on teenagers and He knows the fear, pain, and confusion they face and will be sending people like you to guide them. Some of the teens you will meet will have several caring adults in their life like parents, teachers, coaches, and pastors. Others will have almost no caring adults involved in their life.

This is important to keep in mind as you talk to teens because God often works through many others to reach teens. Consider this truth from 1 Corinthians 3:6-9 (NIV), where the Apostle Paul describes how he fit into the work God was doing.

“I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.”

So, if you find out in a conversation that good seeds of God’s truth have been planted by their parents or some other caring adult, do your best to water those seeds. If you find out God led you to talk to a teen because seeds need to be planted, rejoice for the work God gives us and pray for those who will be sent to water those seeds.

It is also important for us to affirm the other good adults in a student’s life. Sometimes parents make decisions that kids do not like, but they do it out of love and care. Our words are powerful and it is good to think about how we are honoring them with our words. We might not agree with the choices the parents make (ie. not letting a student come to our event), but how we talk about others to students or in the presence of students is important. We need to be about encouraging positive relationships with adults, not discouraging the ones with whom we do not agree.

Teenagers are often overlooked at a time when they have to navigate a very confusing and difficult world.

4
Be There for Overlooked Teens

At a time when they have to navigate a very confusing and difficult world, many teens are feeling overlooked. In 2006, the National Promises Study revealed that 55% of adolescents do not have caring adults in their homes, schools, and communities. And in 2014, a report titled The Mentoring Effect showed that 13.5 million young Americans are without caring adults in their lives who have the ability to help them through critical moments when they most need guidance and support.

Very few adults are connecting with young people to support them and help them develop. So, as you talk to teens listen for clues that help you better understand how many, if any, caring adults are involved in their life and seek to show them you care. Let’s be the caring adults that fill the gap for that student.

5
Show Them Love and Acceptance

This one actually puts us all to the test because it calls for unconditional love. And when we meet a teen who badly wants to exercise their will to choose and their choices are not good, how will we let them know they are loved and accepted? Following are a few ways that might help you at that moment:

Trust Grace

Consider all the moments Jesus was in a conversation with a sinner. He could have brought a long list of sins and bad choices up but He didn’t. Just imagine the list of sins He could have talked to Zaccheus (Luke 19) about. Instead, He spent time with Zaccheus. Give teens the gift of love and acceptance even if you do not feel they deserve it.

Let God Love Them Through You

The truth is, God is love (1 John 4:16). If you find yourself telling God you do not know how to love someone unconditionally, you just might hear God reply and say, “I know, so let me love them through you.” If this is something on which you want to go deeper, check out this article on letting God live His life in and through you in the Spirit filled life.

Trust the Gospel

Your life was changed by God and that change affected everything. That same power can give you the power to love and transform the lives of the teenagers in your life. You can have faith in the gospel and love teens where they are today.

Colossians 1:6 (NLT)

This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about God’s wonderful grace.

As you step out in faith to listen and talk to teens, we want to encourage you to start with an emphasis on listening. As you focus on listening and asking good questions, you might find this helps you express love and acceptance. When you consider how teens may battle feelings of being overlooked, the experience of having someone give all their attention to you is incredibly life-giving. 

God has given us some amazing opportunities to be there for students, encourage them, listen to them, and help them make wise choices. Thank you for investing in the students in your life.

Next Step

Next time you connect with a student, focus on asking questions and listening. Our Preparing Yourself for Spiritual Conversations article can give you some starter questions and practical tips.

Preparing Yourself for Spiritual Conversations
Conversations
This article is part of the Conversation Collection. Read the rest of these articles to get an even better understanding of how to have great conversations with students.

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The Claim Your Campus Prayer Strategy

CYC is an organization that exists to empower middle and high school students to pray for change on their campus. Their goal is to get one million students to claim their campus for Christ through prayer. CYC offers a phenomenal app you can check out here.

We encourage all campus movements to emphasize prayer and the Claim Your Campus app is a great way to engage students in prayer. Download it now to kickstart a movement of prayer on your campus!

5 Key Features of the Claim Your Campus App

Pray Now:
This section is designed to lead any student through a daily 15-minute prayer time for their school. The format is simple: Listen, Thank, Ask. Each day students read a passage of scripture, thank God for something specific He is doing in their school, and ask Him for help at their school and schools across the country.

21-Day Challenge:
Habits take time to build. The 21-Day Challenge can help you and your students build the habit of praying together daily.

Share Your Story:
Students from all over the country are using Claim Your Campus at their schools. This video feature gives students one minute to capture what God is doing at their school and then share it.

Groups:
Use the Groups section to form your own prayer group and/or join other groups. Students praying together in community for their school(s) is the foundation of CYC. The group feature keeps students connected, motivated, and encouraged to keep pressing on!

Prayer Walk Your Campus:
This feature describes how to prayer walk a campus in three easy steps. Invite. Pray. Report. It includes a brief tutorial and a downloadable prayer walk guide.

Social Media:
Stay connected through Tik Tok, Instagram, and Youtube pages; News and Updates can also be found in the app.

Cast the Vision: Prayer Equals Change

  • Use these videos to get excited about how God could change your campus through prayer and how He could use you to build a prayer movement at your school.
  • General Promo video
  • Marion School video

Invite Students to Be One in the Million

Students download the app using the QR code graphic & claim their campus!

We encourage all campus movements to emphasize prayer and the Claim Your Campus app is a great way to engage students in prayer.

4 Different Ways Students Can Claim Their Campus

  1. Start a Weekly Prayer Group. The CYC app provides prompts that change weekly.
  2. Host a prayer walk around your campus. The CYC app features a Prayer Walk Guide.
  3. Embed 5-10 minutes of Prayer into Your Weekly Cru Club Meeting. Build a CULTURE of prayer. CYC has done all the work for you. Click here for the Leader’s Guide and here for premade slides for up to 20 weeks. That is enough for an entire school year. CYC’s GRAB-N-GO resources make praying EASY.
  4. Participate in Annual National Events such as SYATP.

Invite the adults in your community to support SYATP by signing up for The Prayer Walk Project. This project offers a way for caring adults to join hands in prayer on the Saturdays before and after SYATP.

Prayer is the real power in any campus movement. Make it a non-negotiable in your ministry to emphasize prayer with adults and students and see how God moves.

Next Step

Download the Claim Your Campus app and consider how you could use it on your campus today. Do you have a prayer strategy for your plans? If not, send the app to a few student leaders and invite them to start praying for their campus!

DOWNLOAD THE APP
4 Ways to Prepare for a Prayer Walk
1
Prepare Your Heart

Surrender the Prayer Walk to the Lord. Ask the Lord for one or two scriptures to help prepare your heart. Jot them down. If you like, use them to inspire the people you invite, or share them with your team the day you meet to prayer walk. Pray for:

  • Divine appointments with people.
  • Connections with insiders at the school who are like-minded and willing to help.
  • God to guide your steps.
  • Open eyes to see the spiritual needs of the campus.
2
Prepare Your Team

Pray for Names. Ask the Lord to bring to mind specific names of students, volunteers, parents, pastors, and/or faculty you can ask to join your prayer walk. Keep in mind, this is not about numbers. Even one prayer partner is enough. Matthew 18:20 says, “Where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them.”

Invite the People
that He brought to mind. Decide what mode of communication is best: text? social media? phone call? Give them a brief description of what a prayer walk is and what they can expect that day. Share what has motivated you to gather a team to pray. Be sure to tell them the date, the start and end times, and the location. Give them an RSVP date.

Send them any final details
on the day before. Remind your team what time you will begin and end and the location to meet. Let them know what to bring and any adjustments needed due to weather or other factors.

(During a Prayer Walk) Pray for: Divine appointments with people. Connections with insiders at the school who are like-minded and willing to help. God to guide your steps. Open eyes to see the spiritual needs of the campus.

3
Prepare Your Campus

Check with an Insider at Your School. Once you choose your campus and gather your team, you may want to check with an insider at the school to see if there is anyone you need to notify ahead of time. Most likely, it will not be an issue if you are prayer walking after school or over the weekend on the parts of the campus that are open to the public. Avoid prayer walking on campus during school hours without permission.

4
Prepare Your Details

“WHO” DETAILS: By now, you know WHO is coming. But here are some other “WHO” questions to think about if you have a larger group. Who will…

  • begin the prayer walk (introduce/explain it)?
  • end the prayer walk?
  • lead smaller groups (if your team is large)?


“WHAT TO BRING” DETAILS
: You may want to bring copies of the Prayer Guide and the Leader Guide.

“WHERE/WHEN” DETAILS: Make sure everyone knows the date and time you will meet. Include starting point (address of meeting spot) and ending point (time and meeting spot).

“HOW” DETAILS: For your convenience, this Campus Prayer Walk Leader’s Guide provides a general flow and includes sample scripts of what to say from start to finish. If you can read it, you can lead it. But you may need to think through the unique needs of your prayer walk.

Would you like the prayer walk to be more casual or more organized? Do you have people who are comfortable prayer walking or more new people who may need more instruction?

You have prepared your part. Time to grab your walking shoes. Let’s do this!

Next Step
It is time to get on the campus to pray. Text one friend today and ask them if they would be willing to go to the school to prayer walk with you this week. Get your feet on the campus and pray together. Once you have done it yourself, it will be a lot easier to gather others to do it with you.
Prayer Walking

After the Israelites wandered for 40 years in the desert, God called Joshua to bring His people into the land He had promised them. The commander of the army of the Lord appeared to Joshua with instructions essentially for a prayer walk around the city of Jericho. And let’s just say the Israelites’ obedience to his words, made history. (If you are unfamiliar with this incredible story, you can read the whole story here.)

What is Prayer Walking?

Prayer walking is just what it sounds like—praying as you walk. And you can do it anywhere: around your neighborhood, through your city, or even on your daily commute. Invite others to join you! As you walk together, let the Spirit of God use what you see to guide your prayers. Then, trust God to respond in His perfect way and timing.

One of the most impactful places for a prayer walk is around a school campus that means something to you. It puts you right where the students are—like God’s boots on the ground—allowing you to connect your heart to that specific location as you pray. And who knows? It might even lead to a chance meeting with a key person on campus. Many ministries have started with a simple “Hey there!” to a student or administrator during a prayer walk. A casual stroll can open unexpected doors!

If you have never done this before, no worries! Joshua—the young leader from the Bible—had not done it before either. It was his willingness and availability to God that mattered most. And the same goes for you—no experience required!

Prayer walking is just what it sounds like—praying as you walk.

Prayer Walk in Three Easy Steps

Meet Up (5 minutes)

Grab a friend or two and meet on campus- ideally after school or on the weekend. Select and read a meaningful passage from the Bible together. Take a minute to pray a blessing over this time, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide your prayers.

Walk & Pray (10-20 minutes)

Start walking the perimeter of the campus and let the Holy Spirit use who/what you see guide your prayers. Here are 5 ways you could begin praying:

  • Ask God to move by His Spirit on this campus and be glorified.
  • Pray people here would hunger and thirst for God.
  • Pray for the believers here to live wholeheartedly for Jesus and make others feel seen, known, and loved by God.
  • Pray for leaders in this school’s community (students, parents, administration, faculty, coaches, etc.)

Wrap It Up (5 minutes)

Select a spot to close your time together. Talk about how it went. Was there anything that stood out as significant or meaningful? Take a few minutes to thank God for this time. Express your love for Him and your confidence that He will respond to the prayers He heard today.

Other Prayer Walking Guides

If you would rather have a more specific guide to help you in your prayer walk, try one below:

One of the most impactful places for a prayer walk is around a school campus that means something to you.

Why Do It?

Prayer Walking Knocks Down Walls

What effect did Joshua’s and the Israelites’ obedience have on the fortified and powerful ancient city of Jericho? Well, the God of the Universe infused their faith-filled feet with power, causing the otherwise insurmountable walls of the city to collapse. That’s how they fought and won the battle of Jericho—without ever throwing a punch!

Now, maybe you are not planning to tear down any physical walls around your school—in fact, let’s definitely avoid that! But in the spiritual realm, every school is a battlefield for souls. On every campus, there are barriers to the gospel that need to be broken down. Inside every person, there are walls that separate us from God or keep us from fully experiencing the abundant life He wants for us.

Looking for a more current example of a battle fought and won with prayer? Check out this powerful story of what happened when a group of students in Marion, Indiana consistently and prayerfully put feet to their faith and watched God win the battle for their campus. If you want to read about more victories won with praying feet, check out Exodus 14 and 2 Chronicles 20:1-30.

Some Other Great Reasons to Prayer Walk Your Campus

  • It is a place to gather other believers who have a heart for the campus.
  • It is a way to be on campus with a purpose.
  • Sometimes God uses these times to introduce us to key gatekeepers on campus.
  • It might surface some needs on the campus with which you could help.
  • It helps your team become more familiar with the campus and less fearful of going there.
  • It is better than doing nothing. Sometimes God moves when we take action.

 

Within the campus ministry of Cru, prayer walking has actually been shown to be the single most effective strategy in seeing new gospel movements started.
Dan Allen, Director of Mission Expansion

 

The powerful presence of God always has and STILL does mix with our prayers and supernaturally connects us more deeply to God, ourselves, and others. Prayer breaks down barriers that lie between us and wins the battle for souls.

Prayer walking can be your lead foot on any campus. Ready to grab a friend and step into the unknown with Him? Prayer walking is something anyone can do.

Next Step
Plan 15 minutes this week to stop at your local high school, walk around, and pray for the school. Bring a friend or do it alone; just get your feet on the campus and pray. Ask God to show you what next steps He would like you to take.

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