I thought in order for life to be meaningful and worth living, it had to be a fairy tale. I got involved in church activities and focused on my studies thinking one day I would feel happy.
Even though I achieved much, I wasn't happy.
I tried to get the attention of my parents because they were focused on my sister. When my teacher told me that I might graduate valedictorian, I went home and told my mom. But instead of celebrating she told me, "It makes no difference because your sister graduated last year as valedictorian." I felt rejected.
I thought that if I had better grades, maybe other people would appreciate me when my family couldn't. But by graduation, I was really down because I was not valedictorian. I felt that I was not important. I didn't even want to celebrate my birthday.
In college, our valedictorian was involved in the same school with me. I thought, I really need to show our school that I should have been the valedictorian rather than her. I felt hatred and cried lots of nights.
After a month of my first semester, my classmate told me that someone shared something with her that is really special. I didn't want to miss something my classmate had learned. She shared with me the Four Spiritual Laws.
The first law really struck me. I didn't know that God really loves me and has wonderful plans for my life. As she went forward, I realized that my life was really messy, that I was sinful and really needed someone who could forgive my sins. That's Jesus.
I prayed and accepted Jesus Christ into my life. I committed to follow Him because I fully believed.
My life really turned upside down after that. The Lord used Campus Crusade for Christ to show me acceptance. The valedictorian also became a member of Campus Crusade. We were former friends but she knew I really had hatred for her because of what happened, so we got mad at each other. We reconciled, and I was so amazed.
After I received Christ and experienced His love, I can really say my life is meaningful even though it isn't a fairy tale. I know that struggles may always come, but the Lord enables me to overcome those trials as I pursue and spend time with Him. Life is worth living because I found security, assurance and acceptance in Christ Jesus.
Roel Ceballos is a student at the University of Southeastern Philippines - Davao studying statistics. He will graduate in 2009. He enjoys telling other students on his campus about God's love, watching television and reading inspiring stories. Roel serves as a student leader with Campus Crusade for Christ.
If you are reading this and for some reason you hate God, and you feel alone, know that He is constantly loving you. He will turn the situation around. Therefore, choose God as He chooses you.
It could be said that I grew up in the church, however, my heart was not entirely in it.
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