Every time I met a Christian, I felt almost a jealousy: They can live the Christian life, but I can’t.
I was fearful that I couldn’t have a boyfriend or go to a party or feel like I had a normal life. I felt like there were a bunch of rules, so I just did my own thing.
Then at Georgian Court University, I was running a table for the vegetarian society on Club Day. Next to my table was Karen from Campus Crusade for Christ. She was just so welcoming and I felt like I could open up with her. I said, “you know what, I’m going to try this out,” and I accepted Jesus into my heart.
But I still didn’t feel changed. I was living the life that I was living with my boyfriend and I still wasn’t having a daily relationship with Jesus or even trying to. Then Karen asked if she could mentor me. I learned how to walk in my Christian life. She bought me my first study Bible, and I still use it all the time. It’s just great being able to open up with somebody you can trust.
She told me what I was doing was wrong, but not because God was angry and going to punish me. It was more that I was hurting myself and could be living a much more fruitful life.
The Lord kept speaking into my heart that I needed to get out of that relationship, which I did, and to surrender my life to Him.
I grew up thinking church was a chore, but I went to church with Karen and it is so different. I brought my mom and my sister and we all got baptized together. It’s a miracle because my father also goes now. It’s amazing how God can save a whole family through people.
Before, my life was in slavery to rules and I wasn’t me. But, God has been seeking me my whole life. I have a new identity in Jesus Christ and I’m truly free to be me.
I thought I was going to have to sacrifice something to follow God, but He did everything perfectly according to His will and it’s just amazing. I met Marco, now my husband, and God had prepared us both for each other during the time we weren’t together. Now I serve in a church, and the Lord has given us those experiences so that we can help others now.
If you are reading this and for some reason you hate God, and you feel alone, know that He is constantly loving you. He will turn the situation around. Therefore, choose God as He chooses you.
It could be said that I grew up in the church, however, my heart was not entirely in it.
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