I always thought of myself as a Christian. Growing up, I went to church sporadically. So, if someone asked, I would have said, "Yeah, I'm a Christian."
I met my husband Casey while we were in college at Texas A&M. We were in a co-ed service fraternity together and got married half-a-year after I graduated with a Chemical Engineering degree.
I became pregnant with Kallie 5 years later and we started going to church in hopes of raising a kid with good values.
We felt we were leading a good life. We had great jobs, kids and a church.
But I was overwhelmed and divided between work and my kids.
Casey would say I was "obsessive-explosive." I was so stressed but pretended I was okay. But then something would happen, like the price of health insurance going up, and it would just send me into a panic.
I would snap and start crying and talking about all these things I was worried about. Casey would just stare at me.
Casey's ex-boss was emceeing an event on work-life balance. He forwarded the invitation to us and Casey asked me if I wanted to go.
At the end the event there was a survey that asked, "Would you like to learn more about family/life balance?" And I thought, "Of course I would, that is the whole point of the stage of life I am in: trying to balance family and work."
I expected to get on an e-mail list to go to other seminars. When Kay Scheffelin (a staff member with Priority Associates called me to follow-up, I remembered meeting her at the event and said, "Sure, I'll meet you for coffee."
We met at a local coffee shop where Kay went over the principles of Christianity in a booklet called "A Guide to Your Most Important Investment."
No one had ever explained to me the things Kay did. As she was talked, it dawned on me, "I guess I am not a Christian. I believed that Jesus died on the cross; I didn't know it was for me."
Before I thought I was a Christian because of things like being in a service fraternity. But Kay clarified that accepting Christ is not so much a feeling as a decision, an act of the will.
Everything Kay was saying made sense, but told her I wanted think about it before I made a decision. So I took my dog for a walk the next day and thought about what she said.
I realized that I was the only one holding me back from having a relationship with God. So I asked God to take control of the throne of my life.
After becoming a Christian I started meeting with Kay once a week and she helped me grow spiritually. Before I was trying to portray that I had it all together. But now, my insides are not churning anymore.
This month, Casey and I are going start leading "Foundations" (a Campus Crusade Bible study) at our church. I hope it puts more focus on Christ and what He has done for us. If someone in our group isn't a Christian I would love them to truly accept Christ like I did.
Kim Conner owns a franchise called Computer Explorers which does technology education. She lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband Casey and children Kalli and Cody. As a family, they enjoy boating and snow skiing. Kim likes to read, teaching kids, traveling and being with friends and family.
If you are reading this and for some reason you hate God, and you feel alone, know that He is constantly loving you. He will turn the situation around. Therefore, choose God as He chooses you.
It could be said that I grew up in the church, however, my heart was not entirely in it.
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