On a warm autumn afternoon, I navigated across campus to hear student feedback regarding a policy I had implemented as the Social Work Program Director. Upon entering the classroom, it became evident that this was no ordinary student feedback session.
The desks had been arranged conference style resembling a long rectangle with students along each side. As I made my way to my designated seat, I tried to smile and read the faces. These were seniors I had traveled with to Costa Rica for a Diversity Abroad trip, had taught in multiple classes, had heard their stories, and had encouraged and supported them. However, they wouldn’t make eye contact.
My heart started racing. Of all the students I’ve had in the last eight years, this is the group that I thought I knew the best, and I thought they knew me and my heart. I felt more vulnerable in this moment than I imagined was possible.
Instead of providing feedback on how the policy impacted them individually, many challenged my character, my values, and my compassion for them. As each senior took their turn, I listened, thanked them, and fixed my face to indicate I was listening and appreciative of the feedback.
But inside, I was devastated. Is that who I really am? Do they really feel that way about me?
As the meeting came to an end and I headed towards my car, I began to shutter. I felt utterly betrayed – wounded by those I cared about so deeply. As I slid into the car, God met me in that moment as the words of “Another in the Fire” by Hillsong UNITED poured over me.
There is another in the fire standing next to me;
There is another in the waters holding back the seas.
I felt Jesus’ presence as he stood with me, holding back the waves of hurt and insults from the meeting, creating a protective barrier between me and the painful words replaying in my mind.
The next morning as I walked into the classroom with that same set of students to teach the next lesson regarding their research proposals, again Jesus was with me holding out His hands to shield me from the waves of hurtful words inflicted not 24 hours earlier.
As a follower of Jesus, I want to always treat all people with respect and kindness. The ability to do that with these students, at that moment, seemed impossible.
That’s when I knew that Jesus dwells within me.
On that day, His love, forgiveness, and unmeasurable grace poured in and through me.
On that day, Jesus taught my class.
I could not have done it on my own.
Through Jesus alone, I was able to continue to treat each student with the same love from Jesus that I had in our previous years together. Jesus has reigned over this situation, has walked with me in the fire, and has held back the waves of hurt.
LaChelle Rosenbaum
Social Work
Lewis and Clark State College