Matthew 6:32-33: For the pagans run after all these things [food, drink, clothes], and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Professional ambition has been one of the great challenges of my academic life.
When I was a graduate student, I rejoiced in meeting Jesus in the process of research and writing. I felt I was in His presence when I pursued those activities. I lifted each article and project up to God; the effort to do better research or produce more outputs felt worshipful.
Yet, over time, I observed a negative cycle.
Though I started in a place of pursuing God, I would slide into chasing professional success. Soon, instead of submitting my work to God in worship of Him, I was asking God to help my professional ambitions so that I could worship my work. God, in His graciousness, would not let this stand. Inevitably, the successes would dry up, despite my continual prayers for more professional achievement. Finally, I would repent and God would end the drought he had created. Academic success would resume – until my heart again slipped into idolizing professional accomplishments.
Eventually, I realized that two factors were at work.
First, I had ignored how God’s plans for my professional life had evolved.
His purposes for me expanded as I became a professor. They included loving students and colleagues and embracing the justice-building elements of my work – not simply growing my CV. I had missed the point where God’s purposes and my professional ambition diverged..
The second factor was fear and self-reliance.
I knew, intellectually, that my academic career was a gift from God and each accomplishment came from Him. Yet, I still worried about the future – about tenure and future jobs and my standing with colleagues and my next annual review. Professional outputs were a source of security and I was struggling to let that go.
Seeking First His Kingdom
God confronted me not long after I got my first tenure-track job. I was worshiping in church and had a vision of myself armored in my professional accomplishments. I saw God removing that armor, but it was attached to me like a shell. It had to be peeled away, leaving behind pink and vulnerable skin.
For almost two years, I wrestled with that image, asking God to help me love the campus, choosing to make time to pursue His kingdom, and entrusting to Him my professional security. The process was slow, but God was faithful. As I entrusted more of my security to Him, I had both more joy and success. One semester I took partial paternity leave and worked fewer hours than ever before, but had more professional success than in any previous semester.
To be clear, I am not espousing a doctrine of ‘health and wealth.’ Rather, amid the performance pressures of the academy, I want to testify to the truth of Matthew 6. Despite the pressures the academy tries to place on us, we are free to pursue His kingdom first because we can be confident that, as we seek Him, He provides for us.
Christopher Pallas
Kennesaw State