How to Stop Being Distracted and Build Better Relationships

Faith Eng

There are many barriers to genuinely connecting with other people. In our modern world, technology and busyness steal opportunities to be fully present and interact with the people around us.

We all long for deep relationships with others, but if we’re going to tear down the barriers that prevent us from sharing our true selves, we must identify the roots of the problem. We must treat the disease, not just the symptoms.

Fear Hinders Real Relationships

One of the most common root problems that prevents us from connecting with others is fear. We fear rejection, failure or being judged. We fear the awkwardness of new situations or that we won’t be good enough.

One of our deepest needs is to be known and loved. Unfortunately, we’re often so paralyzed by our fears that we’re unable or unwilling to take the risks necessary to find the type of genuine relationships we crave.

We have this deep need for connection because God created us to need others and to need Him. We fear opening up because we live in a world of broken relationships that don’t reflect the relationships God intended for us.

We Need to Stop Hiding

According to the Bible’s story of the first human beings, people started out in a perfect relationship with God. They eventually broke that relationship by believing lies about Him and betraying Him. When they realized what they’d done, fear entered their lives and their response was to literally hide from God so He wouldn’t see their mistakes. 

We are still hiding from God and each other. Anyone can look around and see that our world is full of broken relationships, that it’s easy to put on a mask with other people and to hide from God.

Only when we overcome our fears and stop hiding can we know the joy of a deeper connection with God and with others. 

The good news is that we’re not doomed to isolation. Jesus overcame our brokenness and made a way for us to have a relationship with God again. God offers each of us a relationship with Himself, but we must each decide if we are willing to stop hiding and accept it. 

Only when we overcome our fears and stop hiding can we know the joy of a deeper connection with God and with others.

Building Bridges to Community: Intentionality in Relationships

It’s never occurred to many of us that there could be something deeper beneath the superficial distractions of life that prevent us from connecting with others. So how do we identify the fears that underlie our overuse of technology and the pull of busyness?  

Below are some areas to begin thinking through to help you build deeper relationships and avoid isolation. 

Next Steps:

  • Fear of missing out: How much time do you spend on technology during the day? Is the time you spend on social media preventing you from experiencing relationships with “real” people? Find perspective and get help in dealing with the lure of social media.

  • Fear of rejection: Do you wait for people to come to you? Are you afraid of what people would say if you reached out? You bring value to relationships and have so much to offer others. Take a step of faith to contact someone you’d like to spend time with. Consider joining a group in your area where you can meet new people, or find a Cru community. Read more about where your true value comes from.

  • Fear of failure: Do you keep your schedule so full that you don’t have time to be with people? Are you so afraid of dropping a ball that you sacrifice moments of connection with those who mean the most to you? Learn how to be intentional about creating more space in your life.

  • Fear of judgment: Do you have relationships but find that you hide part of yourself from them? Are you afraid that people won’t embrace who you really are? Depth in relationships comes when we’re vulnerable with each other. Take a step toward a trusted friend and share a part of you that needs to be known. Read more about opening up to God and others.

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