By Daniel Becerra
I love Destino. I have lived some of my best moments in the midst of my brothers and sisters from this ongoing movement. I have seen lives change. I have seen students enter relationships, even engage and get married. I have seen depressions go away and relationships be restored. I have seen students honoring their parents more, and sibling relationships grow in depth. I really believe this movement can change the world. But to change the world, how we lead and serve in the movement must be in accordance with certain principles. I think I am learning some of them. If - for a moment - I had the ears, minds, and hearts of every Destino student and staff in the nation, these are some things I would share with them:
1. It’s A Student-led Movement: We hear this a lot, but we often don’t work as if it is true. Chances are that 99% of the time, students know the campus better than staff. They know how the students think, they know what students want to hear, they know what turns them on and off, they know the settings that would work and what will not. A lot of them just haven’t put thought and action based on their knowledge. Our job as staff - it seems to me - is to help our students think (not tell), and recognize that though it’d be easier for staff to lead a Bible Study, or do a talk, or organize an event, it’s more sustaining, empowering, and multiplying to trust the students with more and more things. From my observation, the best staff come alongside and say, “You know better (even if the student doesn’t), and I want to trust your leadership (even if the student doesn’t think he or she has leadership). What do you think will work best? I’m here to help you make it happen, but you lead the way." The best staff resist the temptation to solve problems for students, to speak up more than students, to lead the way.
Suggested question for staff: “What am I doing that should be done by a student?”
2. It’s Okay To Make Friends Before Making Disciples: My biggest regret as a student is that I tried to make someone a disciple before making him a friend. If I could do it all over again, I would ask a bazillion questions and invest time together as friends, even as we together explore how to follow Jesus. Some may not really care how much we know, until they know how much we care. So, rather than jumping into all the lessons we want to share, how about taking a few days to ask questions and listen?
These questions may not be “spiritual,” but they are important. And if they are important to them, they should be important to you.
Suggested question for staff: “How can I better serve this person?”
3. Every Student Is A Leader: In an event that we are organizing at CSULB, four of the students “leading” the event are not in the “leadership team.” Someone just said “I trust your judgment. You lead it. You have freedom to do as you will, just keep this and that mind. I am already proud of you.” Sure, some students will be a little uncomfortable when challenged; but it’s better to uncomfortable for a while than to live with unrealized potential during their college years (or even their entire lives). I am not saying that every student should disciple another, but I am all for every student involved (believer or not, committed or not) to serve in one way or another. If you get them to serve, you get them to commit. Maybe they can be the ones who bless the food in the next meal, or the ones to welcome everyone. And it doesn’t have to be a role for the rest of semester/quarter. It could be a one-time event. Here is a random fact: I didn’t want to join Destino, but some guy just insisted until I did one small thing for them (sit through a meeting), and the rest is history.
Suggested question for staff: “Who can I challenge that hasn’t been adequately challenged yet?”
4. Talk About the Difficult Topics: Immigration. Sexual abuse. Low self-esteem. Image problems. Broken relationships. Absent parents. Fear to trust. These are all real. We don’t gain anything by ignoring them. Sure, Hermeneutics and the Mystery of the Trinity are mega-important, but so are their immediate needs. Before they know about assurance of salvation, maybe they need to know that God still thinks they are worth fighting and dying for (even though someone on earth didn’t think so). We don’t need more informed students, we need more faithful ones. Yes, it may pull us away from a standard, conventional model, but I find that in Destino, sometimes a bit of unconventionality and sensitivity to the leading of the Spirit can be far more effective.
Suggested question for staff: “What issues are relevant to our movement right now?”
5. Look For The Marginalized: Such a strong word… marginalized . It’s not like any of us intentionally put others down (at least for the most part), but all of us can unintentionally do it. What does marginalized look like? It takes different forms. It can be the most quiet person. The person who shows up and very few pay attention to. It’s the one who is likely to have self-image problems. The one that gets picked on (even though it’s “just teasing.”) For some of us, it’s the Catholic guy or girl in our movement. It may be the darkest, or even the whitest. It’s the person with the strong accent, or the one who is most privileged.
Marginalization doesn’t recognize boundaries. It will eat your movement alive if you don’t catch it.
Suggested question for staff: “Who are we not noticing enough? Are we excluding anyone." (Tough questions do wonders for your movement.)
6. Conversations Are Better than Surveys/Flyers: This may just be my experience, but here is what happened the first time tabling for Destino as a student leader.
We gave otter pops away and asked if students would take a survey. Granted, one of our first mistakes is that we talked to everyone we could, not just Latinos. Otter pops don’t really target Latinos alone; giving horchata is a better option (or any recognized drink particular to the Latinos your region). The second mistake was that we were so focused on conducting surveys that we forgot about the power of conversations. Better 20 good conversations than 200 surveys and flyers.
After a good conversation, you have a better chance of students trusting you enough to want to come back. Conversations have faces to them, surveys do not. Conversations help you see through the person, surveys mostly don’t. Conversations build trust, flyers merely build curiosity. Train your movement to have great conversations if you want to recruit; after all, chances are that new students will receive dozens of flyers. We need to stand out.
Suggested question for staff: “How can we have better conversations in this setting?”
7. Create Environments For Providential Relationships: Think about your movement for a second: Who do people come for? Almost never do they come for the speaker. (Sorry to disappoint you.) For the most part, students come because they know and trust somebody in the group, which is why it’s so important to build trust when recruiting! Someone they know and a relevant topic addressing a need are a powerful combination.
If you want students to stay involved in your movement, create environments where it’s easy to make friends and to enter into mentoring/discipleship relationships. Sit in circles, not in rows. (Circles talk, rows don’t.) Have social events. Send them in pairs to share their faith. Connect them to local churches. Introduce students with similar majors. It all helps.
Suggested question for staff: “How can we create an environment where it’s easy to connect and make friends?”
Those are some principles I try to practice. Hope they blessed you.
Please share in the comments section: What do you think about these principles? What about you? What are your principles? (I promise you that if you share something, I will show your contribution to my team and maybe you can bless us in that way.)
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