How long have you been looking at pornography?

The provocative title of this post is not meant as a word trap like the famous phrase, "How long have you been beating your wife?" It is meant as a simple, sobering question aimed at college men, based on some very disturbing studies on pornography use.

In this frank talk by Gary Wilson, called The Great Porn Experiment , he refers to a study done in 2009 by a Canadian researcher named Simon Lajeunesse. This study was an attempt to accurately measure the affects of pornography on college age men; in his talk, Wilson discusses a problem that arose in the beginning of the study: Lajeunesse   found it impossible to find a control group of college men who had never viewed sexually explicit material . This radically altered both the study itself and the results.

Why is this important? Wilson explains : "Why do control groups matter? Imagine if all guys started smoking heavily at age 10 and there were no groups who didn't. We'd all assume lung cancer was normal for guys."

Wilson goes on to describe the devastating effects of internet pornography on a whole generation of young men. His finding are very grim. Internet pornography triggers a practically endless dopamine shower that causes an over-stimulation of pleasure centers in the brain that can pathologically alter brain chemistry and lead to a host of problems such as ADHD, anxiety, social isolation, and erectile dysfunction.

Pornography is universally available via the internet. The numbers on revenues in the pornography industry are troubling. Profits from internet pornography have dropped 50% in the past 5 years  (though numbers are difficult to quantify in an industry dominated by private companies). This drop may seem encouraging if you are concerned with the welfare of young men. Sadly, the most likely reason for this drop is the expanded availability of "free" pornography on the internet. Today it is much easier for anyone with internet access to immediately find freely available hard core pornography than at any time in human history.

Internet pornography is a universal disease among men that few want to talk about. Even fewer Christians are willing to talk about something that is destroying men everywhere. We have to talk about it. Imagine if most of the young men in your life were suffering from a persistent debilitating flu but no one, not doctors or parents or teachers, would even acknowledge it's presence let alone discuss it.

In Psalm 51 King David acknowledges that God desires truth in our inner most being. Most college men hide the truth about their pornography use in fear and shame. Also in Psalm 51, David acknowledges his sin against others and primarily before God. The way out of the disease of internet pornography is not to excuse it or heap on guilt and shame. The way out for David is to call upon God to create a new, clean heart founded on grace and truth. This is the work of Jesus who is full of grace and truth ( John 1:14 ).

The truth is that consuming pornography is a sin, against God and others (using pornography is like using stolen money, its use demeans the dignity of another human being).

The grace of Jesus is so great that even true sinners are redeemed by it. Jesus ate with prostitutes and the pornographers of his day. He spoke tenderly to the sexually immoral and offered them forgiveness. Jesus pleaded with them to " sin no more ".  Jesus is transforming lives in the same way today.

Christians need to talk about pornography to help resist the trap of sin and it's soul killing poison.

I'm writing this to go first. I have looked at internet pornography. And if you are a man, you probably have too. The question is, what will we do about it?

Being in campus ministry means we are constantly helping young men deal with pornography. How do we do that?

Step 1: Talk about Pornography.

Pornography is inherently isolating. Men are trapped in shame and fear because of pornography. Acting like it doesn't exist is no help at all. By talking about pornography, we pull this shadowy subject out of the dark.

Cru has been on the forefront of raising the issue of pornography through events like " Porn Nation " where Michael Leahy shares how pornography destroyed his life and how to break free from porn addiction.

Two weeks ago I listened to a provocative talk by Dr. Ted Roberts of  PureDesire.org describing how the neuroscience of addiction mentioned above mirrors what the Bible says about lust and sin. The talk was given at Cru staff training in 2011. I plan to read more from Dr. Roberts in the next few weeks.

Dr. Roberts did a clinical study of pastors and found that 58% of male pastors were sexual addicts and 24% of the women were sexual addicts. If that is true of pastors, imagine what the numbers are for college students inside and out of our Cru ministries. We have to talk directly about pornography.

Step 2: Offer Transformational Community

Jesus changes lives through grace and truth over time and he does it through community. It is impossible to see significant growth in isolation. Cru offers students a community that is living out grace and truth in Christ. We create communities where we talk honestly about sin, repent and experience forgiveness. This creates the safe space where students can bring their internet pornography consumption into the light of truth and grace. We see this change the lives of students each semester.

Step 3: Offer Practical Tools

Our family uses www.Safe Eyes.com at home to block offending sites and monitor and control internet use. I am very honest with my children about why this is necessary and they cannot use the internet in my home without first having this discussion with me. I also assure them that almost every employer they will ever have will do the same. This is a helpful tool to encourage boundaries on internet use.

I also have a group of male friends who use www.Covenant Eyes.com to provide accountability in internet use. CE does not "block" any sites but simply informs trusted allies about what sites have been visited. This is an ideal tool for relationships built on grace and truth in which honest conversation can happen about the sin of pornography and the grace of Christ.

I have an agreement with this same group of friends that any time of the night or day, we can text or call to indicate that we need help. Just letting a trusted ally know that you are feeling tempted to sin can increase resolve to do the right thing. Knowing that someone will ask you about what was going can help bring you back to reality.

This scene in from The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers , illustrates how all of these things work together: "It's your Sam" .

When we are about to throw our lives away or give in to selfish indulgence, we need a "Sam" who will tackle us if necessary and remind us of the good that is worth fighting for. Every since I was first involved with Cru at Arizona State, I have had a crew of "Sams" who I could count on to help me choose life and flee from sin.

Why is this important? Our mission is to turn lost students into Christ-centered leaders. There is currently NO behavior more to this goal than the consumption of internet pornography. Less than 40% of Cru campus movements are made of men. Is it any wonder? This just indicates that most men feel ashamed to move toward God because of the dehumanizing sexual sewage that flows through their mind on a daily basis.

This does not have to be so. If you are currently trapped in a cycle of addiction with internet pornography  reach out to someone. You can reach out to me but you probably need to reach out to someone safe near you in community. Don't let another day go by living in shame and isolation.

[Cross posted at www.ourcru.org ]