"That's a Deal-Breaker!"

“If your man collects action figures, that’s a deal-breaker ladies!”

On her show, 30 Rock , Tina Fey’s character, Liz Lemon, gains some notoriety in season 4 for her catch phrase, “That’s a deal-breaker,” when it comes to men and relationships.  Fey’s character enjoys the limelight of fame and a best-selling book until she is blamed by angry men for their broken relationships.

Have you thought lately about the “deal-breakers” in your relationship with God, about what could come between you and the Lord?  I have, just this weekend.  Lent,  Cru’s 40 Days of Worship , Sunday’s sermon, and the condition of my soul have created a perfect storm of sorts resulting in this already-on-the-calendar blog assignment.  I thought I’d work it out in front of you, in part due to the convenience of it, and trust that God has something for you, too.

What is that deal-breaker?  Have you met it yet? Is there more than one?  I’ve wrestled with God over one of my deal-breakers.  Disillusionment, dissatisfaction, and suffering can bring us to the point of not trusting God anymore, or only trusting Him so far.  And once we start putting limits on God, we stop worshiping to One True God and begin to worship a projection of ourselves, or of what we are comfortable with.

In the beginning of his classic work, The Knowledge of the Holy , A.W. Tozer warns us:

“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us…. Let us beware lest we in our pride accept the erroneous notion that idolatry consists only in kneeling before visible objects of adoration, and that civilized peoples are therefore free from it.  The essence of idolatry is the entertainment of thoughts about God that are unworthy of Him….Wrong ideas about God are not only the fountain from which the polluted water of idolatry flow; they are themselves idolatrous.  The idolator simply imagines things about God and acts as if they were true.”

We can be quick to call ourselves on the sins of outward rebellion (good for us!).  We can be quick to call our students to holiness when it comes to drinking, sex, pornography (another good thing!).  The “biggies” tend to be outward.  And we can modify outward behavior.

But what of the heart?  What of the “subtle obsessions of the mind,” as my pastor mentioned yesterday?  Things like thinking of the mirror, or the reflection in it.  Wondering about other people’s opinions regarding your reputation, your leadership abilities, the way you facilitated that last meeting.  What did your students think of that talk?  Did they laugh at the right places?  Are you one of the cool staff people on your team? Do you play the rebel and feel proud?  Or do you follow the rules and take pride?

Self-absorption and image management are subtle and insidious.  Jesus sees down to the core of who we are and will confront the things in our hearts that keep us from Him.  I think His confrontation of my deal-breakers feels like suffering as I am forced to decide who I love more, who I trust more.  I want it to be an easy, automatic response (“Jesus!”) but it isn’t always.  Not way down at my core, at my heart (“where?!  Down in my heart”).  I don’t look there very often.

The rich young ruler comes to mind, probably because I just heard a pastor preach a sermon on it last night.  Pastor Caleb explained that when the NIV says the rich young ruler went away “sad,” it’s the same word used to describe Jesus’ grief in the garden of Gethsemane when He anticipated being separated from the Father for the first time ever.  Yes, that rich young ruler grieved over separation as well, only it was the idea of separation from his wealth.

I’m on a new team, in a new city, doing a new-to-me kind of ministry this spring.  As a team we are decoding New York City and our priority campuses to see where fertile ground exists to birth and nurture a spiritual movement with a Destino flavor.  We are looking at the bulletin boards to see what is popular, holding focus groups to learn about Latino culture, and searching university websites to learn more about these campuses and faculty.

Maybe it is time to apply my new decoding skills to my heart.  Maybe it is time to look at how I spend my time to see what is popular with me; hold a focus “group” with me and ask probing questions about my values and preferences, and even look at my internet intake.  What causes me sadness and grief to think about not having or being separated from?

And if I’m too busy to do this, then why?  What has my schedule so tied up that I can’t pause to examine my soul?

“If you love it so much you can’t walk away from it, that’s a deal-breaker!”

“If you love it so much you can’t imagine your life without that dream fulfilled, well, that’s a deal-breaker!”