How to Deal with Parents

So you’re on your way to college, but your parents can’t seem to realize it.

They insist on treating you like they did when you went off to middle school. This isn’t their fault. It’s because they love you, but it seems like an unspoken tradition among fathers and mothers to act strange towards their college student.

The whole move-in day is a hive of anxiety as they refuse to leave before everything is unpacked perfectly. It can even continue into the semester; constant phone calls and texts asking how everything’s going and if you’ve made friends yet. The overbearing pressure can be too much.

College away from home naturally means space from your family. There are a few strategies that you can put into place to deal with parents in a healthy way. You’re going to need to take action early, before the pattern becomes too hard to break. The main purpose of your actions is to prove that your parents can trust you.

Start by showing you know how to prepare. At home, make organized packing lists and schedules. Be on top of your school’s move-in policy and handle all communication yourself. If you’re really feeling up to it, do research about your financial options and take care of those documents too. Demonstrate to your parents that they don’t have to frantically worry about you once you leave home. When you get to school, continue this trend.

Take care of business at school. Do your homework, go to class, and confidently tell your parents you’re doing well. Parents have an ancient, supernatural ability to tell when you’re lying that has been imbued in them by an unknown source. If you tell them you’re “fine” when you’re actually completely overwhelmed, their laser beams of worry will engage. The only way to get around this is to actually be “fine.” Actually doing the things you said you’d do when they bothered you about it in the summer. This way, you’ll gain the trust of your parents and gain an added bonus of good grades.

Finally, exercise your independence. Communicate with your parents clearly, and understand that you’re gaining responsibility for your life. It sounds bad, but they don’t need to know every assignment, test, and paper you have coming up. Keep your day-to-day business to your own planner, and let your parents know the important stuff. Send home a picture or two a month of you in action at the library or at an event. It’s reassuring and shows that you respect their interest in what you’re doing. Plus, it will give them something to share with their friends and brag about.

This can apply to any doting parent, but the same advice can go for your grandparents or aunts and uncles. Going away to college is a big life event, and their calls and texts are how they show they care.

It’s up to you to set yourself up for success and practice good communication to avoid worrying.

Getting involved in your school’s Cru movement (cru.org!) can also put you alongside other students that might just have the same parent problems. Good luck!