Life & Relationships

Getting Parents' Approval



When the Bible clearly teaches that we are to both honor and obey our parents, it’s hard to justify going against their wishes. Both the fifth commandment (Exodus 20:12) and Ephesians 6:1-3, as well as other passages, admonish children to revere and obey their fathers and mothers.

Your parents’ opinions are important. Your parents are one of God’s most precious gifts to you. They have given you years and years of love and are always thinking about what’s best for you. Your parents’ wishes should be considered as a very significant piece of information in discerning God’s leading.

There was a period of time in your life when you were totally under your parents’ authority. However, the Scriptures indicate that with the onset of adulthood, your accountability shifts from your parents to your own independent responsibility to God. We are always to be committed to honoring our parents, but there comes a time when we are personally accountable before God.

College is a transitional time. In most cases parents are still providing financial support, and yet there is a growing sense you are becoming independent. It’s often difficult to point to an exact day that you move from under your parents direct responsibility to being independent before the Lord.

Living in this transitional time, therefore, requires wisdom and prayer, and both courage and humility. If you need to get your parents approval to go to a retreat or conference here are some general guidelines:

  1. Pray that your parents will have a positive response, and that you will respect their decision.
    (Ephesians. 6:1-3)
  2. Show and explain the conference brochure to them.
  3. Tell them why you want to go and how it will help you grow as a person and as a Christian.
    • You’ll be exposed to some of the leading Christians in America. Show them the list of speakers. It’s an opportunity to learn from them.
    • You’ll receive training in how to grow as a Christian. In addition, there will be practical, how-to training sessions in such areas as developing a closer walk with God, leadership, and relationships.
    • You’ll be able to spend several days with some of your friends. You’ll also be able to make a lot of new friends. And they will have a positive influence in your life.
  4. Ask for your parents’ input. Don’t think you know it all. It’s amazing, but the rest of your life you will be discovering just how wise your parents really are!
  5. Answer their questions.
    • “How will you pay for the conference?” – Ask for it as part of your birthday or Christmas gift. Ask your pastor or other committed Christians if they would like to help.
    • “How will you get there?”– Car pool with other students who live near your hometown. A staff member or Student LINC staff will be glad to help you locate these people.
  6. Be lovingly persistent, but give them time to think about it and decide. This will communicate two things. First, it will show them you really want to go. Second, it will communicate that you respect them and are concerned about with what they think.

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