There was a pain in my heart that no one loved me.
My mother died when I was 2 years old. I was looking for my family's care and concern, but they would love me based on when I was doing something [for them].
My girlfriend said her parents would accept me if I became a Christian. I wanted to marry her since I was not feeling my family's love for me. I decided I might become a Christian.
Sometimes the people at the church could not answer my questions, so I sought answers from the Internet about who God really was and about temptation.
I received a reply back from an online responder, Cathy Douglass, who is a staff member with Campus Crusade for Christ and an outreach called Naya Jeevan. She answered my questions. Later, she counseled me about marriage. "What does God say about marriage? Who should you marry?" she asked.
It was not my girlfriend. I found out she was seeing someone else. I told her to stop. She didn't, and our relationship ended.
I had left a pornography addiction, but I got involved again.
I cried out to God to help me to overcome this. I realized I needed help, that I was a sinner. That day, I asked Jesus Christ to be my Savior. Later, I talked with Cathy about how to overcome my addiction. She directed me to some Web sites.
God's love captured me when I read a story about understanding sin and grace. The story had a king (representing Jesus) saying the trap of sin is very bad, but, like God, the king said, "Because I love you, I give you my grace."
I felt God loved me even though I am nothing.
That day, I found that the grace of God is so amazing. I went up to the rooftop at 11:00 p.m., and I cried out to God saying, "Your love is so great." And I sang Amazing Grace.
God directed Sandeep to the woman he should marry. He and his wife Arpita were married in December 2007. They live in India. Sandeep serves as an e-mentor with Campus Crusade for Christ and has responded to more than 1,000 e-mails.
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