From as early as I can remember, my mom was a substance abuser.
As time went on I fell in love with school because there I could find friends, loving teachers, and I could perform well enough to get everyone’s approval. At the end of 8th grade, my mom’s addiction began to prevent her from keeping jobs and paying bills. She was a single parent, so that summer I moved in with my Grandma and Aunt.
When I got to my new high school I began a new life for myself. I excelled academically, participated in tons of clubs, and I made a lot of friends, which all led to me painting a really pretty picture of my life.
By the end of my senior year I had everything I wanted, friends, a great college at NC State, and scholarships that would pay for my college. So I moved into college 2 months after graduation and I was living the college life.
The only problem was I hated every bit of the college life, I didn’t have any of the great friends I made in high school, all of my achievements meant nothing to 30,000 students around me, and I felt like I had nowhere to turn.
I met a guy from Cru at a cookout and he really pursued a friendship with me and eventually I started going to a Bible study he led. At one of those studies I remember going over Psalm 63:1, “You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.”
I was completely in shock that someone could feel that way about God and so I spent the rest of that semester trying to figure out who God was and it was over winter break that it all clicked and I placed my faith in Christ.
Since then God has blessed me with a great community of people from Cru. But more than anything He has taught me that my entire life I thought I was working for it all, but in reality He is a sovereign God that has always had a plan for my life and has always been a part of my life getting me to where I am today.
I find it easy to pity someone like me when I think of my story, but it’s actually a beautiful story because it’s part of God’s story that He’s allowed me to be a part of.
When we put words to the hard parts of our stories, we can give those around us a new picture of who Jesus is.
“... instead of having [people] accept me for who I was, I tried to change into the person I thought they wanted me to be.”
“I would go to the bathrooms at school and have panic attacks, but no one would know...” One day, Kaitlin realized God provides a way out of paralyzing anxiety.
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