When an Unusual Group of Women Shows Up at College

Students mill around the student union at the University of Central Florida. Lunch lines wind through a sea of long rectangular tables and uncomfortable plastic chairs. Dozens of conversations about tests, parties and intramural sports intermingle with the groggy recitation of coffee orders. But amid the bustle of young people is an unusual sight—a table populated by six empty-nester moms.

As these women chat and package cookies, a female student joins them. They turn toward her. They pepper her with questions like a mom picking her child up from the elementary school carpool line.

“How’s your day?”

“Your roommate’s surgery?”

“What about that big physics exam?”

“I pulled off a B,” the student says, excitedly sharing that she moved up a letter grade from her last exam. The moms high-five one another and hug her.

This is how the student, freshman Rain Brigman, spends her free time every Wednesday. Rain seeks out these moms, mostly to talk about her life, and occasionally snag a free cookie or request some advice. And she’s not alone. These moms have essentially adopted the entire student body at UCF.

Students stop by the Ask Mom tent for cookies, advice, a hug or to celebrate a good grade. Sometimes, the moms help students walk through life’s dark events.

The birth of something new

With children at home, but still feeling burdened to tell college students about Jesus, Cathy Thompson prayed that God would show her how to balance her competing desires.

She sensed Him tell her to do what she was already doing: You’re a mom. Be a mom on campus.

She gave it a shot, even though she now jokes that the idea sounds cheesy. Joined by her friend Connie Amon, Cathy began visiting UCF at the beginning of the next school year, doling out motherly wisdom and home-baked cookies in UCF’s “Free Speech Zone.” And so, Ask Mom was born.

In the 12 years since that day, Cathy and Connie have formed a team that now also includes Sheree Keller, Bev Gooldy, Carrie Elliott and Carol Wunder. In true mom fashion, the team keeps the student body informed of their weekly visits via their Facebook page, replete with such hashtags as #wednesdayatnoon, #freecookies and #freeadviceifyouneedany. Upon arrival on campus, the moms first package cookies and pray for the students they’ll meet that day.

Before going to their tent in the “Free Speech Zone,” moms sort and bag cookies in the UCF student center.

Once every treat has its own home, the moms heft their trays and make the short walk to their table outside. But the trek becomes much longer because of students demanding hugs along the way.

Even after they settle in at their tent—which on this particular Wednesday is nestled between a Jewish student organization promoting a seder and a sorority’s bake sale fundraiser—the stream of students passing by regularly grinds to a halt as someone breaks file to receive some motherly affection.

Cathy sees Ask Mom as a welcomed community service on campus. She recognizes that, as many students move away from home, they seek a comforting, supportive presence. “We’ve seen two whole classes of graduating students come through, and many of them came almost every week of their four years,” she says. “And it just shows you that students want a touchpoint with someone who is for them.”

The moms are all dedicated to being in these students’ corner. No matter what.

An unexpected dark side of campus

One issue that the moms confront with painful regularity is suicide. Cathy estimates that one out of every five students they talk to is dealing with suicide, whether that be the suicide of a loved one or their own struggles. Suicide is now the second-most common cause of death among college students.

Not long ago, Cathy met Nicole on campus. Her downcast look indicated that Nicole was struggling. Hesitant to pry, Cathy asked if Nicole was okay. Nicole confided that she had recently lost her father to suicide. She didn’t know where to turn.

Although unprepared for such a heavy truth, Cathy offered to help in any way that she could. Nicole opened up about her difficulty in grieving his loss. She grew up in the Roman Catholic Church, but had stopped practicing long ago. However, in her moment of hopelessness, she asked Cathy to go with her to a nearby Catholic church and honor her father by lighting a candle. From this, a friendship formed between the two women.

Not long after, Nicole again felt the heaviness that suicide brings. Another close friend took his life. Nicole knew that she could turn to Cathy for support because of their established relationship. While Cathy is not a trained counselor, she directed Nicole to one, as well as a grief-sharing group at a nearby church. Cathy and the moms have also prayed, out loud, for Nicole many times—something she has repeatedly thanked them for.

The moms’ mission is one of forming redemptive relationships like this one. They realize that they may not always see visible fruit. But Cathy says they are happy to “cultivate the soil and plant seeds” that God will grow with time.

Kristina Dunlap (right), a student, stops to talk with Bev Gooldy. Another student stops for a quick hug in the background.

The future of Ask Mom

The moms provide a maternal voice of wisdom that straddles the line between gentle and firm to students who need it. By genuinely showing these students a Christ-like love—complete with compassion for these scholastic sheep without a shepherd and grace in the form of no-strings-attached gluten-filled treats—the moms have formed relationships with everyone from the president of the local marijuana legalization organization to student ministry leaders.

They deeply desire to see students come to know Jesus, but they know it takes time.

What started with one woman and a batch of cookies a dozen years ago has become an integral part of the culture at this university. And this culture is spreading to other campuses across the U.S. as well.

At the end of the day, the cartoon banner beside their tent best sums up the moms’ motivation: “… because we care.”