by JULIE CHANG
I have a good breakdown about being single and childless at least twice a year.
“If I was only married to a sexy, godly, charming man who I had amazing chemistry with,” I think. “One who could read my mind when I wanted him to, would never lost his sense of romance, humor, hair or firm muscles, make massive amounts of money. If we had extremely well-behaved, cute, intelligent children that everybody would love and adore. Then my life would be so much better.”
When I vent to people about this state of mind, the well-meaning usually encourage online dating or accuse me of being too picky. As a response, I complain about the results of online dating and lower my standards a few notches to chemistry, godly, and healthy.
I think we all go through some sort of thought process like mine at least once a year.
“If I just ___, then I will finally ___.”
We’re trying to fix the lack of or loss in our lives with a reasonable answer or suggestion. We’re not resolving the core issue in the midst of emotional fog and unreasonable demands.
The problem with this mentality is two things. First it steals our joy, and second it doesn’t exist because we live in a fallen world.
Jesus says in Matthew 16:24-28 that in order to follow him we must each take up our cross.“For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?”
Jesus is the life, and he looks nothing like the goals of the world – Jesus was single, homeless, disrespected, not good looking, beaten, distrusted, and the list goes on and on. Yet, despite all of these situational issues, two things remain for certain: Jesus was free, and he had joy in the midst of the sorrow.
I listened to a podcast recently that explained how joy and trust are directly correlated. Joy is directly correlated with trust, because joy is a fruit of the Spirit and trust is a means to being filled with the Spirit. The world that we often strive for is not fulfilling because we are not created for this fallen and sinful world. We are created for God and are designed to live for an audience of one. If Jesus is the life, then he must be the goal, because all the other things will fail us.
Wouldn’t it be a sad day to find out that we really did miss out on life, because we missed pursuing the Life Himself?
Julie Chang has been on staff with Cru for about 13 years. She currently serves in Salt Lake City, Utah, where she enjoys thinking about her next meal, the game Sequence, and wasting time with friends when she gets the chance.