Mother’s Day is not an easy one for me.
I am an unmarried woman with no children. Each year, and each day, I am grieving the death of my own mother. For me, this day reminds me of a lot of hurt.
Each year, millions of dollars are spent on Mother’s Day cards, flowers, gifts and special meals. As a result, for several weeks leading up to this special day, I’m confronted with Mother’s Day messages in stores, on TV, on social media and even in church.
I desire to be in church that day because I genuinely want to celebrate my friends who are mothers and be surrounded by my church family, but it’s hard.
On Mother’s Day, the pastor asks all the mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers to stand. As the rest of the congregation applauds, I notice I’m one of very few women still sitting.
My heart aches as I fight back tears. I think of my own mom and wonder if I will ever have the chance to be a mother. Being unmarried with no children can leave me feeling like an outcast on Mother’s Day. What’s missing from my life becomes glaringly obvious.
In the midst of my grief and disappointment, God desires for me to invite Him into my pain. He welcomes my questions, sadness and even anger. In return, He showers me with His love and brings healing to my heart.
When the pain of living in a broken and fallen world becomes too much to bear, when life turns out differently than you expect, how will you choose to react? How will you invite God into your disappointment and pain? How will you seek the Lord and rest in Him?
In Matthew 11:28-29 (New International Version), Jesus says, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Despite my unfulfilled desires, I’ve learned that Mother’s Day also presents an opportunity to serve others. God has brought several women into my life who have served as surrogate mothers and mentors to me. Now it’s my turn to pay that gift forward.
As I take time to think about how I can give to others, I find that the work I’m doing is why God has placed me where and how I am right now. I get to:
Though my life looks different than I imagined it would, motherhood and marriage are not necessary for me to have hope and purpose. Every woman’s story looks different and holds value.
If Mother’s Day is hard for you, try doing the following:
God created us uniquely, men and women, but both in His image. I want to explore the unique aspects of how women experience life-change and growth.
I assumed as women grew and matured that the mean girls and the plastic ways would wear away. Especially in Christian circles. What happens when they don’t?
Jessica Harris was addicted to hardcore pornography. She wants to tell other women with similar struggles, “You’re not alone.”
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