Minutes after my sin had been revealed, my anger morphed into shame. I didn’t want to humble myself before my co-worker and confess I was wrong.
Over the next 12 hours I tried to wiggle out: avoidance, blame shifting, hiding, pride. Anything to stop feeling my guilt.
Does this sound familiar? It’s a default pattern all humans have in common.
Yet in David’s prayer (recorded in Psalm 51) I saw a marked difference between my idea of saying, “I’m sorry” and God’s call to repentance. “Behold, You delight in truth in the inward being,” David wrote, “and You teach me wisdom in the secret heart.”
I just wanted to sweep up the mess my sin had created. God wants me to clean out my motivations, heart attitudes and selfish pride.
Instead of hiding, David prayed: “Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.”
So I confessed my sins to God, thankful for the wisdom and power to then make things right the hard way (God’s way) with my co-worker.
I was unsure how he would respond. But now his response was secondary. I wanted to be made right with God.
My heart desired the same thing David penned in Psalm 51: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from Your presence, and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.”
In faith and humility, I met my co-worker; God guided the reconciliation conversation for us. My eyes did get teary but my co-worker was gracious.
It was a sweet moment for me.
- I once again came face to face with the fact that I am one who has been forgiven of much.
- I also remembered that I have a Savior who drank the punishment my sin deserves.
- Lastly, I experienced what it means to live in a community of people who reflect His truth and grace to me.
Read all of Psalm 51, start to finish. Which verses are helpful for you to claim today?